"HOMOSEXUALITY," the first word that i have spoken in the whole class. i really felt so anxious and afraid for letting it out on my mouth because maybe they would react differently because of the fact that i am a homosexual also. "what's new?" maybe they would say or if not "are you defending yourself?" together with a "hahah!" But surprisingly, of those hesitations and fear, nothing really happened. Just my imagination! :)

after all of us have recited, our teacher instructed to look for a classmate or classmates whom our topics are related. Whoah! what a start. if you don't know yet, i had new set of classmates except for my two former ME block mates. but the three of us have different topics so it's impossible for us to be in the same group. but here i am, full of confidence. i don't know myself during those times. i just felt that there's nothing to be ashamed of. so i joined my new classmates whom i knew had related topics with mine.

our instructor again gave us another instructions and the last thing that we're going to do is to present it on class. i wasn't afraid for i thought I'm good at that. so the three of us chose a topic and we decided to choose mine. which means, i will be the one to explain it for i know the thing more than them. i really do! hahah!

and that was it. our group's turn, my turn on the other words. in spite of my confidence, i still felt very embarrassed. we didn't spent so much time analyzing and reviewing our work so the end product was a mistake. good for my group mates 'cos they were not the one who presented it. it wasn't their fault really, it's mine. our teacher asked so many questions. it should be like that and like this. that's not related with your topic. revise it. in short, our work was really a mistake ( she didn't said that ).

i tattered, paused so many seconds, was mental blocked and sit down. isn't it embarrassing? i thought i knew it. first oral activity, i failed. bad impression for my teacher, odd feelings for myself. i felt frustrated, ashamed and disappointed but encouraged to make it better next time.

that was it! my second day in our class. one-and-a-half hours inside the classroom with as lot of happenings. shame, fear and confidence which lead to EMBARRASSMENT!!!